Shut It

My sweet, blue footed neighbor has a laugh that echoes through the neighborhood like an exotic bird's cackley call. Mostly I hear him at dusk when he's ha haaaaaing over a DVD rental. First comes the surround sound(tm) rumble of some high-tech Hollywood explosion, then comes his roaring laughter, childlike and unfettered.

The same neighbor has a indoor dog and a yard dog. The yard dog is part Chow and is well cared for in a stepdog sort of way- kind of the way Tom Cruise's other children get treated now. What other children. I know. Like that.

The indoor dog lives in the house and the Chow lives in the backyard. The indoor dog is a Wiener Dog. The Wiener Dog is named after a famous brand of hot dog. Let's call him Ball Park. Ball Park gets treats like fried bacon. The Chow gets left over dry cat food bits that have skittered across the deck and into the backyard weeds.

Ball Park and owner, look let's just call him Gary, spend a lot of time out in the front yard shooting the breeze. Sometimes guys pull up in their lifted 4 x 4s to talk to Gary about cars. Gary used to do body work on cars for a living until both shoulders gave out. Now he's on disability. He also has blood clots. I think that's why he doesn't wear shoes. So guys pull up and most of the time, if Gary is in the house, they'll honk. This makes the dogs, inside and outside, go crazy. When the dogs go crazy, Gary gets loud like one of those fake/real locomotive car horns. And it is this that he shouts: "SHUT IT!" "SHUT IT!" "SHUT IT!" "BALL PARK, SHUT IT!" And then the screen door clacks shut and Gary and Ball Park bounce down the steps and across the lawn toward one of their many friends.

Someone says something about tie rods. Gary breaks out in laughter. Ball Park barks. Gary shouts "SHUT IT!". Everything is right in the world.