I Love It When She Calls Me "Honey"

11:15 pm
Knock knock knock! Out of bed, feet on floor, stumble to front door and flick on the porch light. No fear, just incredulity and annoyance because I know it's my neighbor wanting a) money or b) beer. I've learned to keep neither in the house. You'd think it would be easier for me to just learn how to use the word "no".

"Hi Honey, I need you to turn on your pool light because I gotta catch some cats". This doesn't register and I think of soup. "What?", I ask her, squinting through my security screen. "I have to trap those cats so I can get them spayed in the morning and I need the light from your backyard so I can manage the traps". Sounds reasonable. She thanked me and shuffled off into the night.

I turned the light on, went back to bed and haven't seen the cats since. I realized today that I've been telling myself that they are still at the vet recovering from being spayed. It has been two weeks. I'm so stupid. They have obviously been relocated.